SOCRATIC PARENTING: Playing with Plato The book remains a work in progress.  In 2005 I wrote a non-fiction proposal and contracted with a literary agent.  When the agent's health problems forced him to terminate our contract in 2006, the book ended up on a back burner.  In the meantime, I continue to live and develop the Socratic Parenting concept.  I know that the book I will eventually write will be much different than the book I would have written back in 2006.  Here is a taste of Socratic Parenting...  Parenting isn't about having all the answers. It's about helping your child learn to think for herself. It's about exploring ideas together, discovering the world together, and rediscovering yourself through the eyes of your child. Socratic parenting focuses on developing a personal parenting philosophy and sharing that philosophy with your child through dialogues, asking open-ended questions rather than trying to force your own ideas and belief system upon the child. Other parenting books focus on the sameness of children. All children need food, love, sleep, stimulation, discipline, medical attention, etc. Socratic Parenting focuses on the uniqueness of each parent and child. Other parenting books have catchy tricks-of-the-trade and long lists of do's and don'ts with the premise that if it appears to be effective, it must be good. Socratic Parenting asks, "Why does it work, and what is it that I'm really teaching my child?" By developing their own self-knowledge and knowing their child, parents can focus on their personal beliefs and goals in determining how best to handle situations with their child as the situations arise. Socrates is a one-stop shop for exploring the great philosophical questions. The Greeks consider him to be the inventor of ethics, based upon his questions directed to law, justice, and goodness. While he was a relatively young man, the Delphic Oracle pronounced Socrates the wisest of all men, but Socrates believed that if he was the wisest, it was only because he understood that he knew nothing. What better foundation of philosophy for all parents be they new parents overwhelmed by feeling "I-know-nothing" or more seasoned parents facing the "You-know-nothing" attitude of teenagers?  GETTING STARTED Ask yourself these questions about your parents: 1. Did my parents show me respect? 2. Did my parents make me feel comfortable? 3. Did my parents give me a chance to ask questions? 4. Did my parents really listen to my questions? 5. Were my questions answered in terms I understood? 6. Did my parents ask me questions? 7. Did my parents address my concerns? 8. Did my parents ask my preferences? 9. Did I feel that my parents spent enough time with me? PARENTING AFFIRMATIONS Socratic parents understand that you cannot control or change your children. The only person that you can control and change is yourself. An excellent first step toward changing yourself is to begin using affirmations. By articulating exactly what it is that you wish to become without worrying about how you can or will accomplish it, your mind can begin doing the work for you, finding ways to make it happen. Affirmations are short, clear affirmative statements of your desired goal. Because you're focusing on changing yourself, affirmations should begin, "I ... ." They must be completely positive, with no negative words or ideas (i.e., no, not, stop, refrain). Here are 10 examples that I've developed and used for myself: 1.  I am a loving, nurturing parent. 2.  I respond calmly in all situations. 3.  I listen to and acknowledge my child's words, body language, and emotions. 4.  I practice proactive discipline. 5.  I explore and discover the world with my child. 6.  I learn and grow with my child. 7.  I work cooperatively with my child to identify and solve problems. 8.   I model good habits and good choices for my child. 9.   I love and accept my child for who she is. 10. I trust my child to develop good habits and make good choices.  Prayer of Socrates Grant that I may be beautiful inside. Let all my external possessions be in friendly harmony with what is within. May I consider the wise man rich. As for gold, may I have as much as a moderate man could bear and carry with him. --Phaedras 279c